RHOC S13 E4

Well, Vicki just can't let us have a good, fun season can she? She just had to go and fuck with Kelly... and, my GOD, if you've learned nothing from previous season, Kelly is unhinged when she's mad. I guess it'd be a boring show without drama. Tamra and Vicki go to Tamra's podiatrist for…

RHOC S13 E3

And we're off to get NAKED WASTED! WOO HOO! Except, we first have to discuss Vicki & Kelly. Vicki has now been caught in having gone on double-dates with Kelly's ex-husband, Michael. Kelly isn't upset that Michael is dating, she's upset that her friend didn't give her the heads-up! And Vicki is too fucking stupid…

RHOC S13 E02

Ah, yes. Vicki doing what she does best... sending "casseroles" to Tamra and Eddie after Eddie's heart surgery. Eddie wisely chooses not to eat it; she probably spit in it. And let's be real, I doubt Tamra ate it either. Homegirl has a strict diet for her body building and I highly doubt Vicki sent…

RHOC S13 E01

I am a HUGE Real Housewives fan. I'm excited to start a recapping journey for my fellow RH fans! It's time to WHOOP IT UP! Put NINE LEMONS IN A BOWL and get your JESUS JUGS ready! WHOOOOOOOOO?? YOOOOUUUUUU!!!!! We know Vicki apologized at the reunion *eye roll* and it was finally accepted by Tamra…

Mother’s Goose Part 2

Part 1 HERE After filling my parents in on how the hell they ended up with a goose in their backyard, we turned our minds to more pressing topics like naming Satan's latest child.  There's been MUCH debate over who actually came up with the name. Let's just go with this: if you like it…

Base of Sour Cream & Sugar

Scene 5 Base of Cream & Sugar There is something about riding in a cab; it transitions you into a New York state of mind. I never fully grasped the true experience until I slide across the worn leather seats and look on as our bossy Fannie Beacon gives the address to the driver. City…

The Worst Date

After my divorce, I was stupidly looking forward to dating. I mistakenly thought it would be fun and exciting. I was wrong. SO WRONG. I had an old high school acquaintance hit me up on Facebook. Already not ideal, but I was just flattered someone actually wanted to talk to me. I checked out his…

Mother’s Goose Part 1

"MJ? It's Carol, your mom's neighbor..." I had to laugh, I knew Carol! She was in my phone already; she'd been my parents neighbor for years, but I guess it's the polite thing to introduce yourself on the phone. "Hey Mrs. Carol! What are..." I couldn't even finish my sentence. "When do your parents get…

He won’t eat the cheese, Doc!

A few years ago my yorkie, Cooper, got real sick. A few days had gone by with him continuing to barf and his appetite and playful spirit dwindling. I ultimately called the vet and left a message for him to call me back ASAP. Dehydration can be lethal in smaller dogs and I wanted advice…

Follow The Flock

Scene 4 Follow The Flock “TAXI! Fannie Beacon & the crew need a RIDE!” Chimes, formerly known as Shannon, who is meow the fabulous: FANNIE BEACON. She waves her fluffy gloved hand and points her finger in the air at an upcoming yellow cab; it's waiting at the light. I watch her as she places, her…