clear cocktail glass filled with liquor on white table

Scene 3

Martinis & Street Names

“Who knows what their stripper name is?” shouts Shannon.

Shannon stands before the tiny foyer with a large cardboard box in her hands. We can see pink shiny objects and feathers protruding from the top. There are about 10 of us in  her efficiency now. Most of us are halfway dressed and we have already managed to create a heavy fog cloud of hairspray and perfume. Each person has claimed what small area they could find…floor space, a make due surface, or item of furniture  to primp and create our characters for tonight’s soiree. All of the girls ooh and ahh as she begins to unload her treasure trove of props.

“OK! So first thing…think of the name of your first pet. Then you have to remember the name of first street that you lived on.  I’m going to give you a fabulous penis name tag to wear for the evening. Now rule #1, you MUST call each person by their name ALL night and if you forget you have to buy Natalie over here a shot every time you forget!” announces Shannon.

Natalie cheers as she hears this rule. The room erupts into people announcing their elaborate stripper titles and laughing loudly as each person reminisces beloved pets paired with skanky street names.

“Tonight I shall be Fannie Beacon!” giggles Shannon as she places a large pink phallic sticker on her chest… the fuchsia glitter bubble letters sparkle from across the room.

“I’m Cricket Sunnyside!” shrieks Molly from the kitchen counter as she dances with excitement.

Shannon goes up to each person with her box, takes her fuschia glitter marker and writes the names on the pink adhesive cocks in her best bubble handwriting. I can hear her announcing each title as she writes them out and bursts into laughter.

“Oh, it’s so lovely to meet you Miss Skippy Perkins! And Miss Bubbles Esplanade you are quite the lady of the night aren’t you? Patches Millgate… well aren’t you sophisticated!” Shannon hands over the name tags and directs each girl to:

“Treat it like gold, it is YOUR dick for the night after all,” laughs Shannon.

“OK girls, make sure you place it on your left tit for ALL to see! Let’s have some consistency here! And YES,  you MUST wear it ALL night!” shouts Shannon over the chattering.

As Shannon hands out the name tags her endless box of goodies is filled with bright feather boas, bobble light up penis headbands, glow in the dark bachelorette pins,  candy dick necklaces and everything phallic you could possibly imagine. We each are allowed to take a few of the items that appeal to us most and, well of course, all of our ensembles are flamboyant.

It takes me a second to piece together my childhood pets and then it comes to me…

“Wow, my name is Cookie Browning Lane!” I say.

Natalie is seated next to me lining her eyes. She raises her eyebrows and giggles.

“Well, since you’re older I guess I’ll take the second street we lived on and I’ll be the fabulous Wicket Beau Pre! This is going to be hilarious!” shrieks Natalie.

Shannon plops down in front of Natalie criss-cross applesauce style. She looks like the cat who caught the canary as she hugs the box against her.

“OK! Everyone gather around…fairy godmother is about to dress Cinderella!!!” She sings.

Everyone crowds around Shannon as she pulls out a veil (covered with glow in the dark dicks) a hugh blinking “bling ring”, a boa sash and various other BRIDE items.

The girls all laugh and clap as Natalie, ahem, “Wicket Beau Pre” spins and dances in her elaborate veil and penis adorned accessories.

six assorted color lollipops

“Who’s ready for some amazing 2 for $10 New York Martinis?!!! Cookie YOU get one, and Wicket YOU get one, Skippy YOU get one…” Shannon points to each bright sparkly sticker and announces like she’s Oprah handing out cars.

“OK! I also need two girls to help me carry the cake. Cricket and Patches since you are over there in the kitchen…it’s on top of the fridge. YES, it’s coming with us ladies!!! Prepare to port the PEEEENIS!” commands Shannon.

With that, we were ready for a frigid, phallus filled night in NYC.

And so the journey begins….

One thought on “Martinis & Street Names

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