Rain, I love the rain, but it has been going for days.  The thing about South-East Texas is that it is always humid too. People always seem to get more cranky during summer, humidity, and rain.  Maybe it’s because it feels so miserable or maybe people are secretly worried that it may start flooding – we’ve been having flooding problems.  Anyways, I work for a multi-million dollar company and this office location consists of mostly women.  Oh yeah, it’s about as intense as it sounds.  For the most part we all get along just fine.  Then there are those days.  Today is one of “those” days.

It all started yesterday morning.  My coworker, Lauren, walked in to find her personal blender coated in protein shake soaking with, what was once nice, water.  Lauren takes care of her stuff so she was NOT the least bit amused. She came to me and asked for my advice.  Of course, being level-headed person I am, I suggested she take it and keep it in her office, that way no one could abuse it.  She agreed but was going to give the culprit some time to attempt to wash it.

Now, we have one major culprit in this office and we all know who she is, I’m talking about you Jennifer.  We all like her very much and I’m sure she means well, but ain’t nobody got time to be cleaning up after you every time you leave shit in the sink.  And it’s not just once a week… it is everyday.   So we usually all go about our own business and wash our own dishes around Jennifer’s shit.  But this time, it was personal.  She used someone else’s blender and left it to stank up the place with layered on egg white protein drank. Ew.

It’s day two, aka today, and guess what… Lauren’s blender is still soaking up all the deliciousness of now 48 hours of old rotten egg powder with a murky sheen of beige liquid.  Jennifer has now had plenty of time to clean it, fuck, she had the whole day before to take care of it.  But alas, as we all knew, she wouldn’t do a thing.  Lauren decided to be proactive and just clean it then bring it into her office.  Well two hours later Jennifer comes stomping around the corner. “Have you seen the blender?” Jennifer exclaimed in a hurried and irritated voice.  “I have, and I am taking it home to be properly clean because it was left for two days soaking with protein shake,” Lauren politely replied.  “Well it has only been there since last night, I had a workout and needed my protein shake before it,” Jennifer sassily retorted.


Well that was a blatant lie WTF?! Why are you lying about something so trivial Jennifer? We literally all knew that she left it in there longer than a day.  Lauren was taken back that Jennifer would lie so nonchalantly, but she respond with, “Well it needs to have a good professional clean by a dishwasher.” Jennifer didn’t like this answer and furiously clacked away in her high maintenance Valentino heels.  Lauren and I looked at each other and shook our heads.

Next thing I know, Jennifer is on the phone venting to anyone who will listen.  She luckily found out Rachel was still on her way into work, so Jennifer convinced her stop out of her way and go buy Jennifer a blender right now.  Yes because that new special pea green protein shake was sooo important.  And poor Rachel of course did it.  Somehow I got part of the wrath too, when Jennifer passive aggressively said to me, “And EVERYONE is WELCOME to use MY blender.”  A comment that says to me she still didn’t learn the value of respecting other people’s items which in turn will earn that respect for you as a person.  I wanted to stay out of this one so I responded lightly, “Okay, cool.”  But really, I was thinking whatever.  Women office drama is a funny thing huh?


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