And we’re off to get NAKED WASTED! WOO HOO!

Except, we first have to discuss Vicki & Kelly. Vicki has now been caught in having gone on double-dates with Kelly’s ex-husband, Michael. Kelly isn’t upset that Michael is dating, she’s upset that her friend didn’t give her the heads-up! And Vicki is too fucking stupid to understand; even to this very day. Vicki thinks this is “not getting involved.” Yet she’s involved… crazy, right? Downright magical; who’d have seen that coming?  But Kelly talking about any of this to her daughter, Jolie, is strange. Not kind of strange, but strange. Super inappropriate.

Ok, now to the fun part: MEXICO!! Shannon send her daughters back to the states and welcomes her amigas  with tequila shots and sombreros. Tamra, Vicki & Shannon are instantly into party mode and quickly take the tequila shots… and then fall all over each other. My God we’re not even out of the airport and these 3 are already having a better trip than anyone else ever. This whole trip was like Geriatrics Gone Wild, but in the best possible way.

They quickly end up at Vicki’s favorite bar, Andale’s. Many a whoop it up has happened here. If Ramona Singer was part of RHOC, it’s be Turtle Time Central. This is the RHOC Mecca. They take shot while some poor waitress blows a whistle in your face and then gropes your boobs. We have a place like that in NOLA I went to for my sister’s bachelorette. I guess every bar needs a “hook.”

We take a break from actual fun to see Gina & Emily doing something that conjures images of bored moms…STROLLERCIZE. What? That just sounds like some made up BS that only CA would do. Gina’s kids seem to go with it while Emily’s are OVER IT and just want to play on the playground. I don’t have kids, but that honestly sounds like a way to sign yourself up to be annoyed. Hard pass.

Back to Mexico… ladies are dancing at the bar, showing their goods. Getting street meat (I always thought that was a no-no in Mexico?) and having super drunk-emotional convos. Somewhere in here Shannon says to Vicki that Steve isn’t the one. She now regrets this… ok, I don’t remember this in the episode. I guess I need to go back and re-watch this scene.

Las tres amigas are back at the hotel. Naked. In their hot tub. Well, Tamra is 100% naked and Shannon is getting down to her Spanx. And Vicki isn’t havin it. Tamra is trying to get them to come in the hot tub, goes to jump in, and breaks her foot. Luckily, the tequila is keeping the pain at bay but it must have been pretty bad because even with all that alcohol, she instantly knows it’s broken. Tamra, goes during the night ALONE (wtf Vicki?!) to the hospital.

Vicki & Shannon try to carry Tamra to the beach the next morning; pure comedy. Vicki says things like “we’re middle aged, we can’t act like this!” Who is this Vicki? She wants to whoop it up, but not really? Do I blame Steve?? what’s happening, this isn’t the Vicki I actually like?!

Vicki also starts to complain about Kelly! She has 0 empathy for Kelly and 0 remorse for going on double-dates with Michael. I kind of feel like the second Vicki thought she was back in with Tamra & Shannon, she dumped Kelly HARD. Which is sad.

That night, poor Tamra passes out due to her pain meds. So it’s Shannon and Vicki to re-dp their tequila tasting from a few years ago. Tequila tasting; that sounds classy. I want to do that. As a surprise to no one, they get drunk a wax poetic about their men of a few years ago… poor Shannon relives some hard time with David and she shares with Vicki how hurtful it is David so easily “replaced” her. Listen, Shannon. Men are gross. You’re not easily replaced, trust me. Men don’t heal, they just stick their dick in something else to feel better about themselves until they implode AGAIN. The cycle will repeat itself. You focus on you and you’ll be fine.

I thought this episode was great. Tamra, Shannon & Vicki were great to watch on their trip!

– MJ

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