Well, Vicki just can’t let us have a good, fun season can she? She just had to go and fuck with Kelly… and, my GOD, if you’ve learned nothing from previous season, Kelly is unhinged when she’s mad. I guess it’d be a boring show without drama.

Tamra and Vicki go to Tamra’s podiatrist for news on her broken foot. First of all, that Dr. is hot. If he’s not already taken he will be soon. Hot Doc? Yes, please. I will say that he didn’t seem to have much personality on TV, but I’m sure I’d be camera shy too. I don’t really remember his diagnosis, but her foot broke y’all.

Next we see Shannon having her daughters taste her new healthy meal kit things she’s going to be selling through QVC. Her daughters didn’t seem overly enthused by the items, but they gave her good feedback to work with: overly seasoned.

Kelly and Vicki meet over coffee to discuss their fight. Kelly spoke her side well & even tried to put the shoe on Vicki’s foot. But Vicki can’t seem to have a coherent conversation, Vicki said “I demand respect.” Kelly lost it and their conversation just went down the toilet from there. They ultimately agreed to move on as only housewives can do. In Vicki’s confessional, though, she said she wasn’t sorry because she did nothing wrong. VICKI. GET IT TOGETHER GIRL.

So, I don’t know much about being an attorney, but I thought you had to pass the Bar Exam to actually be one? Apparently, Emily’s husband has not passed the Bar yet and they are setting goals to make sure he accomplishes that goal. So, hopefully that goes well. I have to imagine that’d be hard with their 2873487629386028745 kids.

In case we all weren’t sure how sad Gina’s marriage is, we’re featured to a scene of her going to the zoo without him and then calling him for 0.25 seconds while there. Life isn’t always what we thought it would be is it girl?

We are treated to finally seeing all the housewives together as they go to dinner. Shannon nor Vicki ever seem to like the new girl. I get it, trust is earned… but you come off like an asshole. They all have normal, get to know you conversations (what do you do for a living? Are you married? Do you have kids?) until Kelly sees her opportunity to put Vicki on blast. Kelly wanted to make sure Vicki knew the other women thought she did bad. Here’s the thing, Vicki does not like being “wrong” especially not publicly (who does?). Here’s the interesting part, the two newbies actually voice their opinion. Ohhhh man. In the world of housewives, this is a mortal sin. You’re new so you have to shut up for X amount of time before you are allowed to have an opinion. Gina goes especially hard and even criticizes Vicki’s friend that asked Vicki to not tell Kelly saying, “What’s wrong with her?!” Oof. Vicki just put Gina on her shit list. Permanently.

Kelly decides to makes this even more awkward and invites a date to join all of them. When he shows up they share an extended kiss…… new love is great and all, but man it was awkward. All the other women decide to call it a night.

Vicki, Tamra, & Shannon leave together listening to Vicki complain about Kelly. And also to say she hates Gina (no surprise).

Gina stops by Tamra’s perpetually in construction home & Tamra advises Gina that Vicki hates her. And to fix it. So Gina reaches out to Vicki and they go on a walk to talk it out. Nothing gets accomplished, but it was an interesting scene to watch. They show up wearing very different outfits: Vicki in workout gear and Gina looks like she was in the middle of running glamorous errands. Vicki makes jabs at Gina’s age; which is cruel, if Gina did that the world would jump on her for being ageist. I mean, you can’t help your age for Christ’s sake. We either all were that age or are going to be that age, God willing. It’s a dumb argument.

– MJ

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