We open to Shannon inviting Tamra, Kelly & Emily to watch her do a photoshoot for all her upcoming QVC meal ventures. Shannon is still very self conscious of her weight, but she looks great. There’s no doubt who is feeding these demons; David is sending her straight up verbally abusive texts. Men are so strange – David cheats, but throws even more jabs at Shannon?! Like, back TF up dude. Emily describes it well, people are at their emotional worst during a divorce. All the ladies eat lunch at Shannon’s place – not her meals, but food nonetheless.

They start to discuss Poker Night. Emily confesses her husband, Shane, threw Gina out at the end of the night. Tamra is far too excited about this whole situation. Emily shares that Gina wanted to apologize to Shane, but Shane was still too pissed to accept… Dude. You got major control issues. I get you wanted to put your kids to bed, but seriously? You had at party. At your house. What did you think was going to happen? And not only that, but you yelled over the balcony at Gina instead of actually talking to her like an adult.

Vicki is off to make some promo commercials for her insurance agency. She makes a small error reading the script and she’s handed a fireball shot. Seriously? Then she talks about how she’d be great at a love advice show… what would it be called? How to fill your ‘love tank’ on cancer scams? Well, her advice, she says, across the board? BLOW JOBS! Duh. She mentioned in Mexico she didn’t want to embarass Steve. TOO LATE!

All the women are meeting for dinner. Gina & Emily decide to ride together. The two of them seemed to iron it out, but the rest of the group has different plans. Namely Tamra. She may have been baptised by her “pasture,” but you can’t change the instincts of a shit-stirrer.  Kelly admits if she was in Emily’s shoes, she’d have been super ultra mega pissed and is shocked that Emily is standing by her man.

Vicki and Kelly are riding together and are shocked by Shane’s behavior. And even more shocked be Emily’s acceptance of the behavior. They decide he doesn’t understand fun because he’s Mormon. Surprisingly, Kelly admits this is probably why Emily is still married and she’s not. Introspection by Bravo.


Can we talk about Tamra’s ponytail? Gorg.

Tamra & Vicki have decided to try to get Shannon back on the dating horse by throwing her in with a matchmaker. Shannon feels like this is an insult, insinuating she can’t do it on her own.

It’s interesting to see the differences with Shannon & Kelly. Kelly is dating, but not necessarily dating men she wants to be with long-term. Where Shannon isn’t dating, but really misses having a companion. But Shannon bravely meets with the matchmaker and, I think,  is genuinely excited about working with her! Yay Shannon!

Emily ends up leaving early because Shane is at home with the kids alone. As soon as she leaves, they all start discussing Poker Night again. Gina reveals that Emily was apologetic for Shane’s behavior. Gina says she’s going to give Shane the benefit of the doubt and a second chance. Shannon makes it about Shannon and says how Shane sounds controlling and it reminds her of David. Tamra QUICKLY jumps on that and says “Oh, you think she’s in a bad marriage?” Ah, Tamra. Never change.

The next day, Tamra and Vicki go to get their eyebrows tatted up. Ok, I do NOT get this trend. It just seems so extreme. Anyway, Tamra quickly tells Vicki she believes Emily is in a bad marriage. And, also, Gina’s is pretty strange too – Gina has never seen her husband’s LA apartment! Tamra is just salivating to stir some shit up y’all. Vicki also thinks it’s strange and somehow manages to draw comparisons to Brooks.

We jump to Kelly on a date with “The Milkman.” He’s definitely good looking, but wtf is that outfit?! It looks like they’re on different dates. They seems to have a connections, but with him living in NYC it’s just not realistic.

Shannon is laying in bed with her dog, Archie, until she has to force herself out of bed to deal with divorce proceedings. She’s nervous because David’s been so hostile lately. And also he’s representing himself?! Who is this joker?  So, the judge orders David to pay Shannon $30,000 a month. You read that right. Shannon and her attorney go out into the hallway where David rounds the corner and starts screaming so bad at them that the attorney calls for a Bailiff. All three ultimately go back in and Shannon requests the amount be lowered to try to appease David. The new amount is $22,500. Poor Shannon just wants this to be over. I don’t blame her; I did too girl.

– MJ

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