I apologize I’m late on this episode! We’ve had a lot of thing on the calendar AND I’m redoing my master bath! YAY! So I’ll make a post about that once it’s done; it’s completely gutted right now and it’s so creepy.

Anyway, back to Jamaica! In a strange turn of events, Vicki is somehow the only person who knows how to be a friend. Y’all, SATAN IS CONFUSING! They leave lunch and get back on the bus going to a waterfall. Gina says “Finally! We can be on vacation and not talk about Shannon!” Interesting; wasn’t she the one obsessed with talking about her? Mmkay.

Dunn’s River Falls. We’re treated to a montage of these klutzes doing physical activities; it was truly glorious. So, this watery rock climb should be primo TV. Tamra is still nursing her foot, so she’ll be walking on the path alongside (I’m sure making snarky comments). Kelly is in a massively inappropriately swimsuit, but it’s perfect for housewifery. Tamra sums it up “I get to enjoy these girls make an ass out of themselves: Kelly’s tits keep popping out, Vicki keeps falling, & Gina is afraid of water.”

They get back on the bus and come back to their Villa. Tamra, Kelly & Vicki are enjoying some snacks while all are in matching Red Stripe hats. Is Red Stripe a big deal? I’m not a beer person, but is it super good? They seem to be huge fans. Anyway, of course we have to talk about the fact that it’s been 17+ hours since anyone has heard from Shannon. Vicki decides to call the front desk and asks them to connect her to Shannon’s room. Which she does not answer.

Gina & Emily are getting ready and talking about Shannon!

Vicki’s phone lights up and it is Shannon calling! Shannon is in her own Villa and it seems she just wanted a break.  She plans to join the group for dinner.

Gina & Emily make silly joke son the way to sit at the table. Vicki makes her way over to Shannon’s to walk with her to dinner. Unfortunately, they seem to get right back into things.

We see Tamra & Kelly walk up to the table. Gina immediately aska what’s going on – “Oh you don’t know?” replies Tamra. Really?

Vicki and Shannon are still rehashing, when I see it click. Vicki realizes she needs to stop this convo and just get Shannon out the door.

Vicki & Shannon make it to the table and Kelly immediately chastises Shannon for not responding. Kelly talks about how rude Shannon is… Kelly, have we forgotten you calling Heather a cunt? Or telling Shannon you knew why David cheated on her? Or telling Tamra you know why her daughter doesn’t talk to her? Obviously Kelly knows politeness. Vicki kindly tells Kelly to STFU; again how is Vicki the most sane here?

Shannon tries to apologize to the group. Tamra looks like she might throw out Alexis “Jesus Jugs” from her party again. Shannon makes an apology to Gina that seemed heartfelt – Shannon wanted a divorce like Gina seems to have right now; amicable. Gina breaks down saying she wishes they’d just respect her feelings….. Y’ALL. She’s asking for the same thing Shannon is, just in different ways.

Now I see why Tamra is so pouty. She’s convinced SHE needs an apology. Ok, tell me how in the world Tamra thinks she needs an apology.

Their food comes and Tamra somehow tricks everyone into thinking the salad dressing is the soup. Vicki drank it like a shot and Kelly took a sip. It was a cute, light-hearted moment.

The next morning is beach day! Gina & Emily are ready to go. Shannon invites Tamra over to talk before the day begins; to which Tamra brushes her off because she “doesn’t have enough time.” Man, there’s that good friend! So, Shannon goes over to Tamra’s villa so they can try to work this out. Shannon starts by saying she feels there are underlying issues between them. Tamra quickly says there aren’t and that Shannon’s the reason it got so out of control. Oh. Ok.

Kelly goes over to Gina & Emily’s Villa. Where they further discuss Shannon. Emily draws comparisons to her “mentally ill” mother… so, it’s not ok when Shannon makes comparisons between Fucking-Shane & her ex-husband, but it’s ok when you make comparisons between your mentally ill mother & Shannon. Ok.

Tamra & Shannon’s conversation is just getting stranger and stranger. Tamra’s choice of leaving Eddie’s side post procedure is somehow Shannon’s fault?! Y’all, Lord help us. Tamra doesn’t like the way Shannon spoke to her so she’s gonna be condescending AF. Ugh. Shannon’s not exactly doing a great job of apologizing. Tamra excels at burying the truth and says that Gina’s questioning of Shannon & Tamra’s friendship was from 1 conversation. We all know that’s not true. They wrap it up with a hug.

They get on the bus to Doctor’s Cave beach. They all order tequilas! Emily & Gina are at the bar chatting (about Shannon). The rest get in the water! Gina & Emily are ordering some food when Gina’s mom calls. They chat for a second and Gina hangs up saying “mom is the best!” Emily starts crying, thinking of her own mom. Let’s all shout at her to go on medication! And tell her how she’s so cranky! They wrap it up nicely, though.

The rest of the group is in the water getting coconuts opened for them and then rum poured in. Sign me up! They’re having a great time. Gina & Emily rejoin them after their lunch. Tamra & Gina go into the water and Tamra proves, once again, why she’s such a great friend. I’m not saying you shouldn’t speak your truth, but you should speak to your friend. Not everyone but your friend.

Gina, Emily, & Kelly go jump on this trampoline – it looked super fun. If I ever see that, I’m going to do that.rs_aj120_main_2

Tamra, Vicki & Shannon are relaxing on the beach with drinks and foot massages. Also, I would like to sign up for that. The guy doing the foot massage encourages Vicki to twerk in a playful banter. He offer to pay Vicki, but Vicki says she’ll pay him to leave her alone. He jumps at the money. I would too. It was an all around cute scene. Then, they watch and laugh at the other three being silly on the trampoline. Good times, ladies!

They go to their “last supper” after shopping those touristy shops and buying Vicki a penis lighter. They all say what their favorite was and everyone has fun answers and then Tamra gets to it. She says her favorite thing was her fight with Shannon. Strangely Shannon & Gina kiss. Strange, but it Gina all kinds of excited over their friendship. I can’t say that’s any of my friendships ever started but you know. To each their own.

– MJ

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