Finally, the finale! We’ve made it! Pop the champagne!

We open to Emily planning her party.
We hop over to Gina, who I think is with her mom. She invites her mom to the Femme Fatale party, but she declines.
Jump over to Vicki who compares her facelift to a tire change and worries if people will notice.
Over at Shannon’s, she’s testing more food on her daughters who all seem to like it this go-round! Shannon’s oldest, Sophie, blindsides her mom and asks to go on birth control for her acne and cramps. That’s a hard pass for Shannon.

Emily, Tamra & Kelly are over at some sore looking for Femme Fatale things. I’m not sure they totally understand as they’re mostly trying on slutty clothes, but you do you boo boo. Gina calls because she has FOMO. Tamra is trying to put on a horse head when Gina requests to talk to her… and requests Tamra come by her “casita.” If I hear casita one more time I’m gonna barf. Thank Christ this is the end of this season.

Tamra is over at Gina’s and they’re talking about this whole telephone game they’re in. This is what I don’t understand, Gina was honest with Shannon and Tamra is trying to re-write history and mad at Gina for throwing her under the bus. And somehow Shannon is mad too… I don’t get it.

Emily picks up her mom from the airport after a 2 week stay in some sort of therapy session? place? Her mom seems very upbeat, but Emily seems nervous. That must be an interesting relationship. At one point it becomes clear her mom is confused on time and confesses she “lost a year.”

It’s the day of the party and Emily is getting ready with two helpers tying her corset. Shane barely has a reaction.
Over at Kelly’s, she’s getting her makeup done with her “honey” named Alex. He’s very good looking, in case you weren’t sure.
Gina is getting ready with her son who is not excited about time with is grandma. Gina has her hair and makeup done but will change elsewhere because she’s embarrassed to be in her outfit in front of her mom… but not on a Reality TV show. Ok.
Tamra & Shannon are getting ready together. I don’t understand Tamra, she says she’s excited because it’s like her sex party she had a few seasons ago, but she’s grossed out because she thinks THIS is going to be an orgy?

People start arriving for the party. Gina is sadly the first of the group to arrive. Gina and Fucking Shane hug! Also, Gina has been trying to make “rad” happen. And just like “fetch” IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. 

Tamra, Shannon, & Eddie are all riding together. It’s painfully obvious how much Eddie does not like Shannon. He basically gives her 1 word responses, if at all.

Gina changes into her “baby making boots” and meets Emily’s mom, Carolyn.
Shannon, Tamra & Eddie arrie and Pary thinks Eddie is Tamra’s son. Classic. Then Tamra’s real son arrives…
Vicki & Steve arrive last. and Vicki is horrified at the ladies in oversized champagne glasses. 

Tamra, Shannon, & Gina sit outside. They must talk about the game of telephone they’re in. Gina’s right, they’re both shooting the messenger. But I don’t think Shannon wants to approach the reality that her friends spoke badly of her.

We see snipits of everyone else conversations: Vicki is talking marriage with steve’s family. she’s so awkward; it’s entertaining but also cringeworthy. We see Kelly talking with Emily’s mom calling her date “big dick daddy from Cincinnati.” Wow. Ok.
We go back to the trio from hell: Tamra, Shannon, & Gina. They’re just going in circles. Can we just accept that Gina & Shannon don’t like each other? Can we move on? Emily & Kelly decide to join the conversation in the hopes they can end it and have a fun evening. Pretty sure that almost never happens in Housewives, but sure. Give it a shot. 
Now, Shannon has her sights set on Emily. They fight for a sec. And I think everyone decides they just don’t care and it kind of drops.

Vicki walks up and I’m pretty sure she’s drinking with her Xanax, so she’s loopy. Everyone is saying she looks good and then Gina decides to say Vicki got rid of her “gobble wobble.” Damn, harsh. 

Shannon realizes that she’s late leaving for her beloved Poison (mostly Brett Michaels) concert! She runs off to go change and then go to the concert.
Shannon stomps down that runway of a house to show her friends her outfit and say goodbye. 

On to the wrap ups for every member… They’re mostly boring. Man, this season was lame huh? What do you think?

– MJ

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