Mother’s Goose Part 2

Part 1 HERE After filling my parents in on how the hell they ended up with a goose in their backyard, we turned our minds to more pressing topics like naming Satan's latest child.  There's been MUCH debate over who actually came up with the name. Let's just go with this: if you like it…

The Worst Date

After my divorce, I was stupidly looking forward to dating. I mistakenly thought it would be fun and exciting. I was wrong. SO WRONG. I had an old high school acquaintance hit me up on Facebook. Already not ideal, but I was just flattered someone actually wanted to talk to me. I checked out his…

Mother’s Goose Part 1

"MJ? It's Carol, your mom's neighbor..." I had to laugh, I knew Carol! She was in my phone already; she'd been my parents neighbor for years, but I guess it's the polite thing to introduce yourself on the phone. "Hey Mrs. Carol! What are..." I couldn't even finish my sentence. "When do your parents get…

He won’t eat the cheese, Doc!

A few years ago my yorkie, Cooper, got real sick. A few days had gone by with him continuing to barf and his appetite and playful spirit dwindling. I ultimately called the vet and left a message for him to call me back ASAP. Dehydration can be lethal in smaller dogs and I wanted advice…

I am an Unintentional Asshole

Ohhhh, man. I made, what I thought was a SUPER FUNNY post on Facebook on Monday. Except, I didn't think things through here... I am a food motivated individual. Mostly a dessert-motivated person, but any form of sugar will do. So, to my surprise there was cake in the office on Monday. And not just…

Where the F*** is the Excedrin?

I turned off the light in my office, walked back to my desk, bent down to retrieve my sunglasses from my purse. I put them on and prepared myself for pain. I turned to look at my computer monitor. My head ached as the light from my monitor hit my face. I had already taken…

Is it 2018?!

My office has a hoarding problem. A big one. It's truly panic inducing. I've mentioned we're in a transition as we close one of our offices and move some of those guys to the corporate office where I am. We also have a shift in leadership, and so there has been several shifts of who…

UPDATE : Love or Loathe You

Y'all remember when I wrote about my co-worker's wife being super-ultra-mega picky about house hunting, HERE ? Well, well ,well. I overheard some gossip this morning.  They found a listing that suited Little Miss Muffet. However they couldn't be bothered to actually drive the few hours to come and see it. For some reason, their realtor…

That One Time I Insulted a Customer

It was an accident, in my own defense. But it happened all the same... I was in my early 20's; young, skinny, and downright stupid. My first job out of college had not been anything glamorous. It was a job, it paid... some of the bills. I worked at a car rental company. At this…

Fashion is Hard

“How do I look?” We all think about it, some of us more than others, but we do. For me, I put a fair amount of effort into my appearance. It’s really because if I let my hair be natural, someone’s soul would be eaten. It’s that evil. So, since I’m spending an hour taming…